The Velvet Mafia

It had to happen I guess, it's been building up for a while. And now that ex NZAF Chair Alastair Cameron has been appointed the Leader of the Opposition's Head of Staff, it comes out.

Yes, the Great Gay Conspiracy, the Velvet Mafia, the Homintern. Over cocktails or lattes, quietly chatting in gyms, passing coded messages by the songs DJs play, we push deeper into the social order.

It's all nothing but a front for the deeper penetration of NZ's public life by filthy god-hating Sodomites and the headlong dive of NZ's standards led by their short-haired radical-feminist family-hating Sapphist mates.

The nut-case blogs are at it already - but I don't want to link to them and boost their pageviews.

The fact that Grant Robertson, Labour's openly gay Deputy Leader, is a friend of Cameron's, is seen by some as definitive proof of this godless plot.

Yeah, because in a city like Wellington (well, it's really a big town, not a city) gay men with a strong interest in Labour politics happen to be friends is a surprise how? I know gay men who are active in right-wing politics too, but they don't seem to carry the same level of scrutiny.

It's not a surprise though, and it's the sort of smear we've had before. In some ways we're in good company. In the past Freemasons (no, not the band), Jews, and Communists have all been targetted in the same way - evil, suspicious outsiders who can pass themselves off as "one of us" but really they're out to get us! That's how the conspiracy theorists think.

That was the drive behind the loathsome anti-Jewish Dreyfus Affair in France, behind McCarthyism in the US in the 50s, and homosexuals always get caught up in these things. We were seen as a "security risk", open to blackmail, easy to bribe, and a backdoor for the enemy. Don't forget, we were locked up by the Nazis and the Soviets just the same way the Jews were.

Make no mistake - these comments are nothing but old, deep-rooted homophobia coming out. It really is amazing the amount of power that people ascribe to us. You'd have to think if that were true we'd be in a much better position than we are at the moment - we must be running one of the most inefficient and poorly led conspiracies of all time.

We haven't even improved the national standard of interior decoration yet!

It's true - there are gay networks. Just as there are networks of lawyers, networks of Grammar and Kings' Old Boys and networks of farmers. Humans have a tendency to cluster together with people who share similar views and interests. It's actually a good idea, it means a group can organise and get its voice heard, which is kind of what politics and democracy is about.

I say good luck to Alastair Cameron. He'll need it. Even though I'm a natural Labourite, David Shearer hasn't impressed me yet,  and I can't see him leading the party to victory. Maybe the Velvet Mafia will be able to change all that though. Heh heh heh (Ooops did I say that out loud?)