tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747340140125877148.post4708689323765199339..comments2023-04-16T08:12:02.051-07:00Comments on The Gay Blade: Love and Marriagegaybladehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03225740617886273865noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747340140125877148.post-13273289271304063162011-12-06T16:38:56.976-08:002011-12-06T16:38:56.976-08:00Crikey! Someone's touched a raw nerve. Can I j...Crikey! Someone's touched a raw nerve. Can I just say this and it is very trivial in a way. .J.D.Ackerly wrote a book called 'My Dog Tulip' and it is about how he grew to love an animal. Love comes in all forms and in many ways. (In some ways the madness of love is very over-hyped, it's kind of the manic up to the manic down.) But love is also a profound emotion and as you say Michael, it changes into something not necessarily linked to sex. I know this. My cat was knocked over by a car last night and when I saw it lying dead on the road I felt the most brutal feelings of love. It turned out the cat was only stunned and had lost consciousness. Today the cat is ok. As I say, love comes in many forms - can be felt in many different ways. Would I want to fall in love in the way I did when I was younger. Yes....and no. And yes. And no.Peter Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10634232481249753326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747340140125877148.post-45889050010268848922011-12-06T11:28:31.698-08:002011-12-06T11:28:31.698-08:00This is quite an offensive post, if not homophobic...This is quite an offensive post, if not homophobic.<br /><br />"Most of the gay men I know who are married/civil unioned or whatever are still fucking around, so monogamy obviously isn’t the driver. And gay men are different from straights, we do build our relationships differently.Celebrating love makes sense – aping straight marriage doesn’t for me."<br /><br />Perhaps you should only speak for yourself. There are many gay people who include commitment as an essential part of their relationship- whether this is part of or not part of a marriage. Somebody who has been in this form of a union for thirty or forty years, and those who want love, support and commitment are nothing other than married or proper candidates for marriage. To suggest that all these gays are promiscuous simply because you know married couples who are is ridiculous. <br /><br />Generally in the past, gay people were not socialised like straight people- there were no social expectations regarding relationships that explained how to have a relationship in the gay world- a world where sex exists on demand, compensating for a more broader acceptance which is unavailable, . <br /><br />However, there are plenty of gays who want the same as their peers, their sexuality being a point of difference, not particularly more significant than race. Increasingly more gays are coming out to their parents, and their parents want their children to have stable and responsible gay relationships, recognised as equal by the state. Increasingly, people, gay or straight, build their relationship on love, support and commitment, not gender or sexuality. <br /><br />Gay men do not collectively build our relationships differently. Individual couples, gay or straight, build their relationships according to their needs. A heterosexual union with children is a different marriage to one without. Both partners can choose whether their marriage is based on traditional ideas, or if it ought not to be. However, all these definition can exist within the definition of marriage as it stands for straights, and should for gays.<br /><br />I understand what you are saying, but you are promoting the deeply homophobic and deeply marginalising stereotype that every single gay person is unable to achieve a committed relationship, and that we are all promiscuous. And while I don't believe having lots of sex is something shameful, I do believe using the same reasoning as extremist Christians to denigrate gay relationships and gays is harmful and unfair.Patrick Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04844759338025627480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747340140125877148.post-70677096067807283322011-12-05T18:07:34.087-08:002011-12-05T18:07:34.087-08:00I have faith, you were always quite a catch. They ...I have faith, you were always quite a catch. They just haven't picked up that you are waiting to be caught. I always found it helped to dismiss the whole concept, contemplate celibacy, and bang they start queuing.Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847002413984009230noreply@blogger.com