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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Gay Bigots - I Hate Them

I loved this image when I saw it, it's  off a t-shirt you can order online.

And there is so much racism out in the gay world, and it really comes through in the online setting. So many ads in NZ that read  "No Asians/Indians". Hmm, so that's over 2 billion people, about 1/3 of the globe's entire population you've decided to dismiss because why...? OK, if it's just the gay portion of that more than 2 billion you're dismissing, it's considerably less, several hundred million men, absloutely none of whom you could ever find sexually interesting.

 Zero. Zip. Nada. Not one.

That's crazy - and no, it's not "just my preference": it's racism pure and simple. And I have a particular loathing for racism and racists.

It's racist because it is firmly and entirely built on the idea of race in the first place. How can you generalise about all men from Korea or Sri Lanka? You can't - if you try to, you are using a tool of racism, and you are racist.

It's racist because it fails to see our shared humanity - you are relegating and dismissing one group of people purely and simply because of your own bigotry based on their ancestry and what this does to their physical appearance.

If it's "just a preference" consider how the sentence reads if you say "No Maoris (it's just a preference) " or "No Jews (it's just a preference)"

Does that feel right? Does that sit well with you? I can't imagine anyone using that on a profile here in NZ, although I know there are men who have that view. I have met loathsome white people in NZ who can't have sex with "brownies" I'm sorry to say.

And can you imagine the effects of that constant negative barrage on people?

It just seems so weird to me - some men are hot, some aren't. I don't care about ethnicity. I've met hot, beautiful and sexy men from all sorts of backgrounds.There are some amazingly unsexy and ugly whites out there, but I wouldn't use that to justify saying "No whites", so to me it comes down to some level of fear of the unkown. Fear of those that are different.

Saying it's "Just a preference" is a load of bullshit. That's a cowardly, mealy-mouthed way of pretending you're not prejudiced - pure and simple. What happens when you walk out of a dark room and find that muscle-god with the 8 inch dick who was banging you into a happy quivering mess turns out to be Chinese, Thai or Indian? Do you turn round and go "Oh dear, I don't like Asians, sorry"

The truth is we are taught to associate certain groups with being sexually desirable and not others. We learn it through porn through our general culture and the images that are put out. So in NZ we see people associating Maori and Pasifika men with being hot and sexy, hence the lack of the "No Maoris (it's just a preference)" in the online world. We've decided they are hot. But that's part of a long tradition of seeing brown-skinned people from the Pacific as sexually freer than uptight "white" culture, freer and available. It's racist, it's exploitative and it's based in fantasy, but it's accepted.

And fear of what is different isn't just about race either. I am still amazed at the well-educated, intelligent men I meet who are completely irrationally terrified of making love with someone who is HIV+. Even when they regularly use condoms, if they know how to have safe sex and do it, if you tell them you're poz they become gibbering wrecks. It seems we embody all their fears about their own behaviour. I can't see what else they are afraid of. If you know what you're doing you're not going to get it, no matter what the HIV status of your partner.

And this is another form of discrimination that's close to racism. It's a refusal to acknowledge that you are dealing with another human being who is just as worthy, just as real, just as human as you are. Yes, I find some Indian and Chinese men unattractive - but I find the same about Germans and Anglo-Americans too, I find some Brazilians deeply unsexy to look at. But I don't dismiss the entire group because of it. Some men with HIV are sex-on-a-stick, some of us aren't.

We gay men came from such a position of fear and discrimination ourselves - I guess this is why I react so strongly to this. For centuries we were persecuted for being who we are, I find it amazing to see the same sort of ignorant nasty bigotry in our own world.


John said...

I have to disagree with you on this one Michael. Some gay guys are racist--maybe a lot, maybe most who say "no Asians" etc in their profiles.

But I would argue that the guys looking only for "passive Asians 19025" are more racist: it's fetishism.

I don't say anything like that in my profiles...but I also rarely shag non-European men. Why not? Well, as I get older and my sexual forays outside my marriage are fewer, I'm more inclined to hone in one what really turns my crank:

+really tall guys
+30s, 40s, 50s
+dark haired guys
+top guys
+big dicked guys
+mediterranean looks
+uncut a plus

So that ostensibly is racist? Nah, it's the way my desires are wired. Have I fucked my way through the rainbow of culture? oooooh yeah (n=a gazillion): European, Asian, African, Polynesian, Melanesian, Amnesian, mixed, South Asian, Christian, Muslim, Animist, Atheist, Pastafarian.

Have I had fun? With a lot of different guys? Hell yeah! So no, not racist. I have my desires is all. That doesn't mean I don't have manners. If I get hit on by anyone that I don't fancy, I politely decline. If they ask why, I still decline--it's not like they can or should change themselves to fit my desires. If they really want to know I say "I'm looking for my Greek/Slavic relentless top Gawd to bang the beJesus out of me. If he doesn't smoke I might even kiss him."

Besides....some of the men in Vancouver accusing European men of being racist towards Asians are Asians who themselves won't date....other Asians.

The Gay Blade said...

John thanks for the comment - when you look for guys that turn your crank do you put a blanket "No Asians" out there? It doesn't sound like you do.

It's that sort of language and what it symbolises I object to and regard as racist. I agree, we all have preferences and are entitled to them - but saying "No Chinese" does seem to me to be racist.

John said...

Well isn't racism an attitude or belief: whether it's written down or not doesn't make it's the thought(lessness) that counts.

Konrad C. Read said...

Is white seeking white any more racist than man seeking man is sexist?